Gordon Brown: Lots of Gas (and some salt)

Oh God.
Gordo is reassuring us that there is no threat to gas supplies. see BBC report here

If I were you I would pull-on that extra woolley jumper now before it is too late.

As I remember he also reassured us that we were “better placed” than any other country during the recent banking calamity.

Not that I would ever cast doubt on the brilliance and foresight of our marvellous tactician and mastermind but as I remember it: Were we not first into recession? And last out?.

So now “No threat to gas supplies” must mean “break out the camping gas stove”. But on the bright side you will finally get to put on that funny hat your auntie bought you 15 years ago.

But think of all the money that has been saved by not building those gas storage facilities engineers have been dripping on about for years. All that money! And now of course it has been wisely spent on “other things”.

The PM has not only promised that gas will not run out, but that road salt will “get to where it is most needed”.

As an old Neanderthal I should perhaps explain that your plebeian concept of “most needed” and that of our great magnifico are probably quite contrary to one another.

I would expect that marginal constituencies will be well catered for. If you live in a solid Tory seat though, I'd dig out the old ice skates.

This may mean that Billothewisp and associated Homo-Sapien hangers-on get some salt on their roads. After all Jim Knight, our local Labour Czar, must be getting rather anxious. The putrid and poor, living in the darkest recesses of the Purbecks may decide to dispense with his services in the near future.

A little rock salt can go a long way. Or so I am told.

Sadly though, for our beneficent and well fed leaders, Neanderthals are not wildly impressed with road salt even when scattered liberally on the frozen roads of England. Sadly the grit does nothing for the texture of roasted road-kill and even less for the complexion of British politics, especially when there isn't enough of the stuff to go round.

Slippery dangerous roads are one thing. But if the gas runs out then we really will be in trouble.