Southampton Taxi Shock Horror Probe

Greetings my fellow cruel little Englanders. As you know, occasionally, Billothewisp likes to try and lighten everyone's day with a little bit of sardonic observation.

But yesterday Billothewisp came across some news that was so preposterous, so unbelievably Pythonesque he was acutely stumped for adding to the sheer lunacy of the story. In fact the story was so outrageous, this particular blogger had a haemorrhage and nearly bled to death.

But today, after being inspired by the wit of the above little English bleeder, I have decided to have a go.

I of course, refer to our noble elite who so benignly rule over the grubby English proletariat who infest the city of Southampton. Particularly the taxi drivers of the said city who have had the temerity to display certain blood curdling items, of which I will come to later.

First of all may I warn all those of a nervous disposition to sit down, or at least stand well clear of breakable objects as I relate this dreadful tale.

The taxi drivers of Southampton, share many of the traits of other English ruffians. They share in the same non-voting system that ensures that no English party is ever elected. As there is no Assembley or parliament to elect them to, this is, of course,not a problem.

Being non citizen of a non country with no parliament, should be gratefully accepted. But evidently it led some of this English underclass to forget their place.

It appears that some of these taxi drivers took to displaying an outrageous icon within their cabs, measuring at least 5 inches by 3 inches. It was none other than the foul flag of the non country of England. To this disgraceful act they added a massive written insult across the middle of this emblem by writing the disgusting phrase “English Speaking Driver”.

Of course they had a cover story. They said some people (probably other foul and cruel little Englanders) found the ugly national display useful. This was probably only due to the fact that these lazy English customers had not bothered learning Urdu or Polish and found communicating with the non English speaking taxi drivers difficult. Well, all I can say it that is their fault. If they don't like it perhaps they should emigrate.

Today Southampton council has rescued the insulted, abused and traumatised from these barbarian taxi drivers. The flag and associated message has been banned from Southampton taxi cabs. The council has threatened to remove taxi drivers licenses if they fail to comply. No doubt there will be letters issued. The council will watch and monitor. They know where you live. Watch out for the knock knock knock on the door at 4 am.

Billothewisp is rather nonplussed by all this. In our imposed multicultural society he would have thought that showing a little consideration to the populace by indicating your primary language would have been helpful. But alas no. Billothewisp is after-all, just a drab and dirty Englishman himself. So what would he know?

We all should know by now that the English are, by far, the least important citizens of these islands.

After all, they don't even have their own parliament.