The Striking Out of England

Today at mid-day I had no lunch. Not one morsel passed my lips. Even the bloody "Oily Rags" I have to work with had their "Ham" sandwiches and "Muesli" snackbars. But I had nothing.

Anyway to kill the pangs of hunger, I decided to surf to the BBC website to read the news instead.

BilloTheWisp decided to navigate to politics. More precisely to this page. Nice layout! Lots of fine words (well, they do get nearly 3 Billion quid a year from you suckers) but....

There was something missing.

Underneath the headline stories there was a section Scottish Politics. Another for Northern Ireland Politics and finally a third for Welsh Politics. Really, there was something missing. Neanderthals are really built for stability rather than speed so I had to mull it over for quite sometime.

What could it be? Then it came to me. In a flash. Or more a rumbling of discontent, a bit like the rumbling of my unfilled belly. There was no mention of English Politics. Not one word. Let alone a heading. It was as if England had been airbrushed out of the political make-up of the UK.

BilloTheWisp is a trusting sort of chap, though a bit hairy. Consequently, I have decided that until justice is served and fairness established for England by the establishment of an English Parliament, I will follow the lead of the exceptionally well fed at the BBC by airbrushing England out. This will undoubtedly also save any embarrasment to our leaders in England, who of course, cannot be our English leaders anyway, because England does not exist. Let alone have any political representation.

Unfortunately this Neanderthal centric blog is mainly about England. Consequently I felt it would be rather messy to simply remove all references to England and the English. So please excuse this simple Neanderthal who, instead of airbushing England out, will now ensure that any reference to the non country of England is now struck out from this blog instead.

I hope that will enable all of us who live in England to stop worrying about silly things like democracy and fair-play. We can then get on with paying our English taxes into the Barnett formula so the other real countries around us can flourish and push forward leaving us English ever wistful for the fiction of the non country of England

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great blog but this post doesnt make you look very bright.

BilloTheWisp said...

I suppose not. But there you go. Its done now. ho hum.

Anastasia Fitzgerald-Beaumont said...

Bill, an excellent post. This is an issue that makes me so angry, the subordination, no, the abolition of England. Oh, if it matters to you, I think your are exceptionally bright, rather a surprise in a Neanderthal. :-)