Glowing In The Dark

Good evening my grubby little Englander pals. Recently, this blog has been far, far too serious. So tonight the subject matter is a little lighter.  Radioactive poisioning to be precise.

Hmmm. Bet you feel better already.

The shocking truth is that every day, (maybe even five times a day - if you follow government guidelines) those bastards in Tesco, Asda or even Morrisons are dosing you up with radioactive Potassium-40.

It is no use thinking you will get rid of it either. It has a half-life of 1248000000 years.

Think on that - a number so huge it is only dwarfed by the National Debt.

Potassium-40 decays by beta emmission - arguably the nastiest of the evil triad of radioactive decay mechanisms.In a sufficiently high doze it is absolutely guaranteed to kill you.

Stone dead.
Finito.
Corpseville USA.

Lower doses may just make you grow another head and possibly a third arm.

So how are these corporate demons delivering their hellish poisons to you, your children, grand parents, pets, goldfish and other loved ones?

Bananas.

The bastards are putting it in the bananas. My God! That must be why bananas have that eerily yellow skin.

Here you are coating little Johnny in factor 120000 sun cream to protect him from the poisonous solar radiation, locking him in his room and keeping him well away from those nasty boys who play in the mud.

Yet it is YOU feeding him radioactive bananas.

No wonder he is such a uncontrollable little monster.
In fact he probably will be a real monster, third arm and all. And quite soon.

Your not responsible? You thought bananas were the very epitome of Green (or even Yellow) living?

Ha! They all say that. Tell it to the judge.

An example of how utterly, utterly, totally and completely serious this is is to compare a single Banana Equivalent Dose to that of a nuclear disaster.

Remember Three Mile Island?

Melts downs?
Radiation Release?
The near destruction of the Western hemisphere, if not the entire solar system?

Well, a single Banana Equivalent Dose (no honest - I'm not making that up - See Here ) corresponds to drinking a massive 30 pints of Three Mile island contaminated milk.

Or about five pints of Old Rosie (the Cider of Champions). Perhaps that is why Billothewisp has been known to have a radiant glow as he staggers back from the boozer.

You don't have to ingest these deadly bananas either. That eery yellow radiance will get you. All you need to do is look at them. Stand by a crate of bananas, even for a moment and you will recieve a measurable dose of radiation. (again - I'm not actually making that up)

Haven't you ever wondered why Radiation warning posters are all yellow?

But that is not the only toxin these corporate monsters are feeding you

Brazil nuts, potatos and even sunflower seeds are all packed with radiation.

Don't even look at a packet of chocolate brazils. Ever wondered why they are all that funny bent shape like a "C"?

The zombie slaves who grew them are sending you a subliminal message - cancer... Cancer... CANCER.

God knows what they have been doing to the Mung Beans.

Hat tip to Antony Watts - see the full dastardly facts at Antonys blog - Watts Up With That

2 comments:

JAA said...

From one Dorset Engineer (with no aristocratic conenctions) to another: interesting site, I'll be popping in regularly.

Francis Urquhart said...

You have to realise that the output from Sellafield has to go somewhere and since we were prevented by the Americans from dumping it in the gulf of Mexico since that trifling incident with BP, bananas seemed a logical first step.