Once Upon a Russian Blonde

My friendly trusting gullible little English compatriots, I have a fairy tale for you.

Once upon a time, in a very old and crumbling land lived a large jovial bearded man. A politician non-the-less. This rather fat but happy individual was so important he was charged with looking after the defences of that crumbly land.

Like all the great good and extremely well fed, he spent long, long hours filling out expense claims. In those odd moments when he was not form filling, or at lunch, or berating his peers for something or the other, he managed to spend time on the more trivial aspects of government. Like nuclear deterrence or procuring advanced weaponry.

But like the other Great Good and Extremely Well Fed, he needed assistants. People in trusted positions. Dare I say, people charged with the safety and security of the nation.

Now, the foolish and paranoid would insist on those aids being security cleared nationals of this crumbly land. But Oh! That is just sooooo politically wrong. Sooooo incorrect.

If you want to show the world exactly how "globalised" you are, you hire willing and pretty foreigners. Even foreigners from countries that not so long ago were mortal enemies.

Prime candidates among these foreigners are attractive young blonde Russian girls. Maybe even one called Katya.

Of course you can tell they can be trusted, just by looking at them. You can always trust a sweet innocent blonde Russian girl. Especially with the nations secrets.

But could her loyalty really be to her Motherland?

Could she be a spy?

No. No. Nooooo. That would be just too silly.

After all, things have got so run down in this crumbly old land that other countries only spy on it for sport.

And pretty young Russian girls simply don't do that sort of thing.

But some foolish members in crumbly lands MI5 have taken it all too seriously.

Even though the fat politician whined and complained and declared his pretty aid innocent, the cruel zealots in the security service still arrested her and will soon send her back to Russia.

Goodbye Katya.

I expect you did a really first class job.

It is a pity you are not taking your bumbling incompetent ex-boss with you.

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