Cider with Rosie George

Greetings my poisoned spotty and red-nosed fellow little Englanders:

Billothewisp has some tremendously good news for you.

Yea! Great tidings of joy and I bring.

There will be celebrations in the streets and not least festivities down the pub.

Prepare for ecstasy

And this is why:

You may well remember that we have recently had a change of those-who-should-be-obeyed. A realignment of the Great Good and Extremely Well Fed.

A changing of seats, portfolios and expense claim forms.

But this is not the reason for the celebration.

You may well remember what a complete bunch of conniving bastards the previous group of Great Good and Extremely Well Fed were.

You may recall how good it felt when the Conniving-Bastard-In-Chief was finally evicted from No 10 much to his displeasure and much to our joy.

But again, this is not the reason for celebration.

Now of course we have a new Conniving-Bastard-In-Chief.

In fact arguably we have two new Bastards-In-Chief. No celebration there.

We have had grindingly painful budget.

Again no cheer there.

Or is there?

OK my sour faced grubby little English chums here it comes.

Make sure you are either sat down or stood well clear of breakable objects.

Try not to windmill your arms with glee or you might knock the wife's teeth out.

George Osborne announced.........

The removal of the extra 10% tax on Cider!!!!

Yippee!

At least my weekly consumption of fermented apple juice is not going to be crucified for some politically correct anus in the Labour Party.

You know, I have to say, what a bunch of bastards.To up the tax on cider.

They would have been taxing penicillin next.

Personally I rely on cider to give me my five a day.

Mind you, I usually stop at 3 these days otherwise I tend to pass out.

But really what a bunch of politically correct champagne quaffing snivelling elitist buffoons would put an extra tax on cider?

George Osborne may well be a claret swilling chinless wonder but at least he has let the working man avoid punitive taxation on one of his few pleasures.

Forget how they wrecked the economy, buggered up our defence, gave away all our money in foreign aid, ponced and posed on the world stage at our expense.

When I next come to vote I will remember that the utter scum that became the Labour party and how they threatened to punitively tax my cider.

Bastards.