Wind Turbines and Silver Spoons

I have some  questions for you my despised and disgruntled Little Englanders.

Say you had a nice little rowing boat. A fine little craft which you loved and loved you back. It loved you in a way that only boat owners (and their boats) can know.

Let us give our fine little craft an inspiring name.

Let us call her "Tellus Mater" - after the Roman goddess.  After all, this is not a Greek tragedy - even for Dioclese.

Lets say that on one terrible day, our fine little craft "Tellus Mater" sprung a leak. She started to sink. Remember, you love your little "Tellus Mater" and your little "Tellus Mater" loves you back. You would, no doubt be alarmed, panic stricken even.

But maybe you are also strapped for cash (like Billothewisp). There are mouths to feed, fires to stoke, bills to pay. Oh, so many demands! On such a little a budget!

Maybe you only have a tenner in your pocket. You need to buy a bailer for the boat but you need to feed the kids as well.

What do you do? (this is multiple choice so you don't have to take your socks off to answer it)

Do you:

1. Buy an effective bailer that you can rely on.

2. Spend your money on some really fashionable silver spoons.

OK that may seem somewhat bizarre. So lets us work up some model answers to both possibilities.

Answer 1:

With your effective bailer you save the boat. Then with the change left over buy some food for the kids. Job done. (Drama Queens need not apply).

or

Answer 2:

With your silver spoons in your hands you sneer your disdain about anyone who would buy anything as ugly as a proper bailer.

Unfortunately baling the boat out with your spoons proves difficult. They only bail tiny amounts of water and often they fail to bail out anything at all.

You pride and joy - the fine little boat "Tellus Mater" gets ever lower in the water.

You desperately buy more spoons and clutch more spoons in each hand. You paddle desperately at the water.

The man selling the spoons is very happy and tells you what a fine example you make and suggests ugly bailers should be banned.

You sneer at those around you who suggest that you really need a good bailer and the spoons are simply a waste of money and time. Eventually though, out of irritation, and seeing your spoons do not really work all that well, you heed their advice.

You take out a loan and buy a bailer as well.

Of course from then on most of the bailing gets done by the bailer, but every now and then when the conditions are <just> right you revert to using the spoons.

At last little "Tellus Mater" is saved.

The spoons are still wonderfully fashionable and you can grandstand to all those around you. You can tell them about how wonderful your spoons are and how they are the true saviour of "Tellus Mater" Meanwhile the despised bailer is chucked over the side.

The Grotty Yotties down from the city, sitting at anchor on their floating Eco Gin Palaces, hear your fine words and listen transfixed. They need silver spoons as well! A competition ensues.

Who has the most silver spoons?
Who is the most fashionable?

Ugly bailers are abandoned en-masse, just in case they ruin the new image.

The man selling the spoons is very, very happy. Your kids though are crying because they have gone unfed. (moan.. moan.. moan.. some people are always complaining)

Meanwhile, unseen by you and the Grotty Yotties the skies have darkened. A few spots of rain announce the coming storm.

All of the bailers have drifted away........


So my grubby little international band of compatriots what is the moral of this tale?

Well funnily enough the average sized bailer holds about 2 litres of the old briny, whereas a fashionable silver dessert spoon holds about 20 milli-litres of the same salt sea ocean.

The ratio then is about 100:1

Just by utter coincidence a modern nuclear power station is rated around 920MW whereas a shiny new fashionable  wind farm consisting of four of the very largest turbines is rated at just under 9.2MW (although really it only ever manages about 2MW).

Again we have a ratio of 100:1

So, in a tight spot, what do we choose? 

Ugly bailers or silver spoons?

Nuclear power or wind turbines?

Practicality or Fashion-ability?

Oh, Decisions. Decisions.

2 comments:

Anastasia Fitzgerald-Beaumont said...

Silver spoons and fashion, every time. :-)

BilloTheWisp said...

tchh tchh tchh. Anastasia, you are a bad person.