Spoil it for England

My dear dissolusioned fellow little Englanders, how should we address the choice presented to us during the forthcoming election? How should we choose between the bland tasteless porridge of spin and despair that is offered to us?

Maybe you are one of the millions of fair minded Englanders who is now in such a state of despair about our country they will choose not to vote. If that is you, read on.


First lets look at the sorry options we have.

Should we vote for King Gordo?, the Eternal Leader, the Nokia Ballista? The latter day McBeth? The Macawber-esque financial failure?

Or should we choose Posh Dave who has made such a hash of this election campaign thatt he has turned a dead cert into a possible catastpohe.

There is Thingy in the Liberal Doo-Dahs who is simply all things to all men. The political colour equivalent to Hearing-aid beige.

The host of small parties may be honest, but you may consider that they lack gravity.

So what can you do if the small parties do not attract you and the larger ones make you want to vomit?

You are (quite rightly) outraged by the fraud, corruption, hidden agendas and sheer incompetence. You despise the jobs for the boys, the champagne socialism, the privilege and control freakery.

So what are we to do? How can we show our rage? How can we breath life into the bloated corpse of our democracy?

Firstly, always try and find someone worth voting for, but if there is really no one you can stomache voting for, why not indulge in a little constructive bureaucratic vandalism.

Spoil your ballot paper.

Write "Spoilers" or "Thieves" or whatever you like across the paper. But remember the blushes of the nice lady doing the counting.

People who do not use their ballot paper aree ignored. But imagine the effect if there are hundreds of thousands of spoilt ballot papers. The crooks will have to take notice.

So whatever you do, whether you vote or spoil your ballot paper get out there on election day.

At the very least you can register your displeasure.