A General Election? Or a Lottery?

The General Election tomorrow promises to be the closest and probably unfairest election in recent UK history.

Tomorrow we may well see the SNP with about 5% of the UK national vote return 40 - 50 MPs while UKIP with 15% will return 2 or 3.

The Greens will get a national vote share of about 5% will return just one MP. Meanwhile the Lib-Dems with their 5-8% will return anything up to 30.

To emphasise how bizarre, awful and anti-democratic this all is, be aware that the single Green MP may well only get elected after fluking it with support of only 31% of the Brighton electorate (like she did in the last election).

But without that fluke the Greens with their 5% would have no representation at all.

Meanwhile Labour expect to maintain their tribal vote in the North while the Conservatives will expect to maintain their tribal vote in the South

Most of this gross unfairness is down to the rubbish voting system we use. The First Past the Post (FPTP) voting system is both prone to fraud and can easily return an unfair result.

The FPTP voting system strongly favours tribal voting. That's why Labour and the Conservative love it.

That's why five years ago both Labour and Conservative unleashed a wave of fear-mongering to get the referendum on proportional representation rejected. That coupled with an incompetent campaign run by the Lib-Dems led us to voting against reform. (Seriously, who put the Lib-Dems in charge?)

Because we now have many parties with significant (4% or more) support, tomorrow will be more like a lottery than a fair and democratic election. All thanks to FPTP.

So tomorrow, why not just vote for who you believe in?

True, you can try and be clever and second guess a secret ballot by voting tactically.

But really the chances are you'll either guess it wrong or it won't make any difference anyway. You will also disguise your true opinions.

Stay true to your principles.

Of course this travesty of an election is not a one off. First Past the Post has failed us many, many times in the past.

But there is one thing worse than voting in a FPTP election. That is NOT voting at all.

Below are the three biggest FPTP howlers. No prizes for spotting the unfairness.

TV Debates: Cameron, Brown and Thingy. Who Eats Who?

We Neanderthals have a way with politics and politicians. Generally we think they need a good stewing in the heat of public debate, if not in a bit of Garlic and onions, with marrow from the bones of long dead Mammoths hmmmm.

We don't think that simply trying to get them to dazzle each other with the shiny glints off their ultra white teeth is really going to cut the mustard. How about some hard options like addressing their policies to a bunch redundant steel workers from Redcar. I am sure they would love to hear why globalisation is such a wonderful idea.

Simply getting them to trading their latest spin is going to be boring. Why not spice it up a bit, say, each one gets a given a baseball bat, then we could bet on the winner, and eat the losers . Hey! Perhaps that means we get to eat all three! Hmmmm.

It is nice to see that the SNP are likely to sue. I like the SNP. Although they stiff us English soooo regularly they are, after all, almost Nethanderals themselves (and I mean that in the nicest possible way).

How about seeing UKIP, English Democrats, Plaid Cymru, Greens, even the bloody BNP having a fair crack of the whip too.

Simply divvying up the airtime between the staid old boring out-of-date self important berks who have no ideas, and no hope is really just too depressing to contemplate.

Some say, that if you are going to eat Homo Sapiens, especially of the political class, they are best boiled with lentils. Personally I prefer them char-grilled. Perhaps the lads from Redcar could lend us one of their mothballed furnaces.