Wind Power Today Revisited

I just thought I would give you grubby little Englanders  an update on how the mighty wind turbines have done over night.

Fresh from the BMReports Page At NETA.....

So, it looks like yesterday things actually picked up a bit and the national real output from our spinning monsters actual broke through the 4% of their rated value. Woooaaaa!

And tomorrow, (wait for it.) their output almost reaches 5%.

Strewth. With overnight improvements  like that perhaps we should just shut down all the other power generation plant ready for the mighty wind turbines to take over!

Just as a comparison. If your economical one Litre car was reduced to 5% of its power it would like ripping out the one litre engine and then replacing with the engine from a 50cc moped. I dare say though, that there are some supporters of this wind turbine fantasy who would actually consider this a good idea.

Unfortunately, there is one figure missing in the NETA table. We must always remember that a wind turbine is a machine operating in a unpredictable and harsh environment. They must never be allowed to stop turning in very cold conditions and freeze up. Unfortunately, when the wind stops blowing they stop. To get round this problem they all have heaters. Electric heaters in fact. This is to ensure that they do not freeze solid. Alternatively some can be "motored" This is usually used to start the thing turning in sub-optimal wind conditions. This incidentally is a nice little feature often exploited to give the impression of useful work being done even when the wind is too slow to actually turn the things. An absolute boon when trying to impress a politician or two.

So, in these freezing times when  power generation is being severely tested, not only are the mighty wind turbines providing bugger-all of next to nothing in the way of power, they are no doubt, in many places actually acting as a further drain on the grid.

Pathetic isn't it.

Weather Forecast 247% Accuracy

Dear ignored, unloved and forgotten Little Englander friends. As you may remember, this paltry old English serf made some detailed weather forecast predictions for 2010. If you remember (This Post Here) I used my neighbours entails as a rune (and not as a bungy cord as some have mischievously suggested).

Well, preliminary results for January are in.

I am proud to announce that Billothewisp has successfully forecast the weather for the whole of January.

Remember the prediction? “January would be cold”

How about that for hitting the nail on the head.

The best the Met Office could do was to predict we would be eating our new year lunches around the barbecue as we sunned ourselves in the back garden. All thanks to Global Warming (also known as Climate Change. But only when the weather is inclement)

So, all I can say to my friends at the Met Office (of whom I have none):

Read this and weep.

“January would be cold” That is 100% base line accuracy for you.

Now using standard statistical practice from the IPCC, I include the air travel enhancer multiplied by braking efficiency of a Toyota Prius.

I then divide by the honesty factor for the average Labour back-bencher.

You then get 181.763112 %.

Feed this through the Mann hockey stick data selection process and it comes to 247%

That is exactly 247%.

Not 246.73% or 242.56%

247% EXACTLY. I rest my case.

Perhaps the Met Office would care to flog off their expensive computers and borrow my neighbour. I am glad to say he is now out of hospital and his entrails were successfully re-installed. Although he views further disembowelments with trepidation, he is so sick of politically correct half truths from the amply fed and watered of our English non-nation, he is willing to go through it all again.

Gordon Brown: Lots of Gas (and some salt)

Oh God.
Gordo is reassuring us that there is no threat to gas supplies. see BBC report here

If I were you I would pull-on that extra woolley jumper now before it is too late.

As I remember he also reassured us that we were “better placed” than any other country during the recent banking calamity.

Not that I would ever cast doubt on the brilliance and foresight of our marvellous tactician and mastermind but as I remember it: Were we not first into recession? And last out?.

So now “No threat to gas supplies” must mean “break out the camping gas stove”. But on the bright side you will finally get to put on that funny hat your auntie bought you 15 years ago.

But think of all the money that has been saved by not building those gas storage facilities engineers have been dripping on about for years. All that money! And now of course it has been wisely spent on “other things”.

The PM has not only promised that gas will not run out, but that road salt will “get to where it is most needed”.

As an old Neanderthal I should perhaps explain that your plebeian concept of “most needed” and that of our great magnifico are probably quite contrary to one another.

I would expect that marginal constituencies will be well catered for. If you live in a solid Tory seat though, I'd dig out the old ice skates.

This may mean that Billothewisp and associated Homo-Sapien hangers-on get some salt on their roads. After all Jim Knight, our local Labour Czar, must be getting rather anxious. The putrid and poor, living in the darkest recesses of the Purbecks may decide to dispense with his services in the near future.

A little rock salt can go a long way. Or so I am told.

Sadly though, for our beneficent and well fed leaders, Neanderthals are not wildly impressed with road salt even when scattered liberally on the frozen roads of England. Sadly the grit does nothing for the texture of roasted road-kill and even less for the complexion of British politics, especially when there isn't enough of the stuff to go round.

Slippery dangerous roads are one thing. But if the gas runs out then we really will be in trouble.